I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I love you.
Bad choice
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize