I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
