I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
