The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
