their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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