I didn't shave. On purpose
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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