Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize