He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
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