i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
