I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
