you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
