Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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