I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
