My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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