Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
