Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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