I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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