To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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