What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
a search helicopter?!
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Randomize
