I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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