You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
