She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
