Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
