dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
