Hey man sorry I got all grabby
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
