Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
