it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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