Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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