You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Fuck appropriateness.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
