We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
