awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
