good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
