Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
