Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
