i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Randomize
