Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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