Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
