Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
