you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
