i don't like sucking hair
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize