I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
he told me I talked like a deaf person
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
