your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
