It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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