i just google imaged poop.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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