You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
