I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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