3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
