Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
where are my eyebrows?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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