weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
