well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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