Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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