Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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