just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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