dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
