I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
