Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
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