summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Randomize
