We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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