i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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