the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Actions speak louder than pants.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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