That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
