Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
