oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
