I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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