I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
